Life can be really brutal sometimes.  Heart wrenching and unbearably difficult.  It can feel like an insufferable heavy weight that is holding down any semblance of warmth, happiness or joy.   It’s like the inner light has run its course and dims ever so slightly day after day until it feels like any moment it can distinguish entirely.   This January I willed that light to stay – if only to manifest through the light of their fourth and sixth birthday candles.   My dad was sick.  He was diagnosed with stage four small cell lung cancer February 2022.  We were all there.  My dad, mom, brother, sister and…